Having a romantic partner who is also your best friend potentially sounds perfect. With your BFF as your romantic partner, you get the best of both worlds, someone with whom you can laugh, share your life and cuddle. When you look at seemingly happy celebrity couples like Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis, or Leslie Mann and Judd Apatow, not only do they appear to be in love, but they also seem to genuinely enjoy hanging out together. How many people feel as though they have attained that type of ideal? And do psychologists confirm this new paradigm is a good one to strive for? I enlisted the help of Monmouth University Polling Institute to investigate.
To help figure out how many best-friend couples are out there, we asked adults across the United States the following question: Among adults currently in a romantic relationship, the vast majority 83 percent considered their current partner to be their best friend.
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For those who are currently married, the rate was even higher. Men and women had similar rates, while younger respondents were slightly less likely than older respondents to view their partner as their best friend. The overall numbers from this recent poll dwarf the earlier reported rate of best-friend romantic partners. In a study, only 44 percent of college students indicated their romantic partner was also their best bud.
But expectations for modern relationships have evolved in the intervening years. We hold our relationships to higher standards than we have in previous decades. In particular, couples now expect their relationships to promote personal growth and help individuals fulfill their own goals.
For example, your partner should help you become a better person by teaching you new things like how to make the perfect creme brulee, taking you places like the cool new trampoline park and opening your eyes to new perspectives such as the benefits of eating a more vegetarian-based diet. Although this expectation for growth could conceivably place an unwieldy burden on your relationship, researchers believe that modern relationships are up to the task.
How many have two-in-one relationships?
In fact, the idea that a relationship can help an individual become a better person, a phenomenon that researchers call self-expansion , is a useful one; relationships that provide more expansion are also of higher quality. In order to hit all these self-improvement targets, you may need more from a spouse or romantic partner than was expected in years past — and a partner who is also your best friend may be a step in the right direction. Think of it this way: We wanted to see if these best-friend romances were really better.
This finding is consistent with research showing that relationships with more companionate love — based on friendship, feelings of affection, comfort and shared interests — last longer and are more satisfying. Other research shows that those in friendship-based love relationships feel they have a highly likable partner, and that shared companionship is an important part of the love. A study of married individuals revealed that those with higher scores on the friendship-based love scale also reported more relationship satisfaction, greater perceived importance of the relationship, greater respect for their spouse, and felt closer to their spouse.
More recently, across two studies with nearly participants in relationships, those who place more value on the friendship aspect of their relationship also report more commitment, more love and greater sexual gratification. In addition, valuing friendship also decreased the chances of the couple breaking up. Best-friend love is starting to sound better and better. All of these benefits are backed up by accounts from a special type of relationship expert: When researchers asked over of these couples about their secret to relationship success and longevity, what was the number one reason?
We're so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me bitch about work or how ugly I feel. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I've got going here.
I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what?
Asking a girl out ruins friendship? - Off-Topic Discussion - GameSpot
How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.
Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a. The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would die if something like that happened to us.
Asking a girl out ruins friendship?
Plus, ick, can you even imagine getting naked in front of each other? I've known you so long, you're more like a brother that I've drunkenly made out with twice and never mentioned again. It'd be way too weird. And if we did, then whenever you'd come shopping with me, or go to one of my performances or charity events, or take me for ice cream when I've had a bad day at work, you'd be looking at me like, "I've seen her breasts. Oh, before I forget, my mom says hi.
"It would ruin our friendship!"
Anyway, you would totally hate me as your girlfriend. I'd be all needy and dramatic and slowly growing to love you. If I was your girlfriend, I would never be able to tell you all about the other asshole guys I date and pretend I don't see how much it crushes you. Let's never lose that.
That's what makes us us. You're so funny and smart and amazing, any girl but me would be lucky to date you. You'll find someone, I know it. And when you do, I'll be right by your side to suddenly become all flirty and affectionate with you in front of her, until she grows jealous and won't believe it when you say we're just friends. But when she dumps you, that's just what we'll be. Costanza Banned Jun 9, Nov 27, 26, 0 0 florida.
PantherLotus Professional Schmuck Jun 9, Jul 4, 32, 0 1, Jul 24, 20, 0 0 Toronto. This needs to be included in that Pimp-Age thread or whateveritscalled. Some dudes need to read this and see how pathetic things really are. Justin Bailey Jun 9, Jun 7, 6, 0 1, Any guy that hasn't had something along those lines happen to him is lying. Pterion Member Jun 9, Jul 18, 4, 11 Funny, I was just reading the break-up mail my ex sent me yesterday JavaMava Member Jun 9, Apr 18, 3, 0 0 30 psychoactivegames.
Are best-friend partners better partners?
I've never usually had one of these, but it's because I usually lose interest in a girl if she turns me down. Luscious LeftFoot Member Jun 9, Jun 8, 2, 0 0. I look forward to this being quoted on a weekly basis Apr 8, 30, 0 0 xmas: LiveFromKyoto Member Jun 9, Jul 19, 25, 0 0 Kyoto, Japan. Where was this article 10 years ago, dammit? Aug 4, 24, 0 0 31 San Francisco, California.
That was painful to read.
Hit way to close to home. Des0lar will learn eventually Jun 9, May 31, 8, 0 0.
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